i am bound for the promised land

3 12 2006

24 hours from now, I’ll be in Chicago. I’m not quite sure what I’m going to do in Chicago all day, but I’ll find something to fill my time.

The Steelers found a way to win today: turn the ball over less than the team that they are playing. Pittsburgh beat Tampa Bay 20-3 in a game that I couldn’t watch due to the change to a 4:15 PM kickoff. Of course, this interferes with Vespers here at the College, so I missed a brief glimmer of light in this dismal season. I’m not a fan of this NFL flex schedule. First, it’s dumb to put games on the NFL network when most of the country can’t watch them. Second, it’s a major inconvenience to people who plan events around Steeler football games. There are all sorts of fans that fly in for a game and have already booked tickets when the good ol’ boys at the NFL decide that they can make more money by pushing the game around to a different time.

In other news, Gwyneth Paltrow thinks that the British have better dinner conversation topics. She says that they don’t discuss money. Hey, we don’t either at Hicks Cafeteria. We talk about how we don’t have money and how the food sucks. Maybe she should come eat dinner with us.

It looks like Hillary Clinton is going to make a bid at the 2008 Presidential election. That is fantastic news for the Republican party and scary news for the Democrats.

I was reading the Ugandan newspapers today and came across two things worth writing about. First, Lake Victoria’s level is up 4 cm due to all the recent rain in the East African region. This is great news for Uganda because it will help them make more power to supply the awful grid there. Second, take a look at the “Lonely Hearts” section of the paper. Seriously, what are these guys thinking? That there are loads of white women with money that are longing for a poor Ugandan man? These are my favorites:

I NEED A sugar mummy. I am Paddy, an employed man, living and working on western Uganda. I am HIV negative. The sugar mummy should be financially stable, aged between 35-45, HIV negative- for a safe sex relationship. Call 0782482926

poor, unemployed driver, 25 is looking for a rich or working lady, between 20 and 30 who is ready to take good care of him. She must be HIV negative. Contact me on 0782563561 Augustin Ceasar.

RICH WHITE LADY WANTED
by a Ugandan born-again Christian man for a serious relationship leading to a marriage. She should be from the UK, USA, Canada and Denmark. HIV test is a must. Call 0782540336.

Well, ladies, there you go. You even have phone numbers to get in touch with these Ugandan gentlemen if you are a RICH WHITE LADY.

P.S.  I need a sugar mommy.  I’m a part time employee who is also a college student.  I am HIV negative.  I’m looking for someone between 20 and 30, but I might go to 40.  I suppose we could get married, but I’m not into pre-nuptial agreements where I don’t get anything if you die or divorce me.  Regardless of what country you are from, if you’re a HIV negative, rich, financially stable, and sexy woman, contact me.


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One response

4 12 2006
Alanna

Wow! Those are some winners! I’m getting on Skype right now…
I hope your interview went well!
I helped your aunt pick out paint today. She’s super nice (she must not be your blood relative)!

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